+ fuck it +

i'm in a VERY rare good mood today, and i'm gonna post Oasis if i want to.
i dug them in 6th grade in the biggest way possible, and i STILL dig them.

WHAT3V3R.

+ love me to this +

+ soak it in +

+ our pain is real +

He says, "I want a child to have a father it only hears about,
So it can take that absence and turn it into hate and then something beautiful.
And I will meet that child at the time of their death.
And we will fly through the universe.
I want a child that knows me only through the written word and the sounds I created.
And realize this world is a place of great darkness.
It makes me weep and want to die.
But it's all I want."

She says to him, "That is the most disturbing but honestly perfect thing I've ever heard.
But they won't understand because you will have been the only person to understand them."

He continued, "I want my child to experience a pain far beyond my heartache."

She said, "Why? The world is painful enough."

And he calmly went on, "Because I feel my heartache is now blossiming into beautiful things.
And I want my child to make the world the most beautiful place.
And spread their arms and soak in the sun as it supernovas."

She wimpered, "Stop it, you're making me cry.
I'm not allowed to say things I hold in my heart anymore -
I've banished them."

His voice held her and said, "Good.
I haven't.
So many people destroyed me piece by piece
And I love all of them for it
Because they made me alive
They made me feel
And I realize they did it to numb their own pain.
I'll take it all.
Nothing escapes."

+ he's more than russia +

you've made your decisions
before we had a
chance to begin.
i see the way
those lusty
pupils of yours
peer at me.
those leaves changed
their colors
so damn
fast.
and you're there.
with your love.

and she's perfect.

and i'm here.
with you in my head.
in my next flight
to this place,
i'll be the one you choose.
we'll lay on the grass
as we did
that day,
the sun's heat equaling
our desires.
the wind on my lips
that you'll
lick
right up.

i'll bring
you
some coffee.
black.
all i
want in
return is
you.


+ + + + + + + +

PAST ONE O'CLOCK by Vladimir Mayakovsky

This poem was found among Mayakovsky’s papers after his suicide on April 14, 1930. He had used the middle section, with slight changes, as an epilogue to his suicide note.

Past one o’clock. You must have gone to bed.
The Milky Way streams silver through the night.
I’m in no hurry; with lightning telegrams
I have no cause to wake or trouble you.
And, as they say, the incident is closed.
Love’s boat has smashed against the daily grind.
Now you and I are quits. Why bother then
To balance mutual sorrows, pains, and hurts.
Behold what quiet settles on the world.
Night wraps the sky in tribute from the stars.
In hours like these, one rises to address
The ages, history, and all creation.

+ 12 string desires +

"every night i tell myself, i am the cosmos..."

+ peaceful tonight +

"She should have died hereafter; There would have been time for such a word. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

William Shakespeare, MACBETH

+ Love In Blood Time +

"When I saw my blood on your leg, the drops so
dark and clear, that real arterial red,
I could not even think about death, you
stood there smiling at me,
you squatted in the tub on your long haunches
and washed it away.
The large hard bud of your sex in my mouth,
the dark petals of my sex in your mouth,
I could feel death going farther and farther away,
forgetting me, losing my address, his
palm forgetting the curve of my cheek in his hand.
Then when we lay in the small glow of the
lamp and I saw your lower lip
glazed with light like liquid fire
I looked at you and I tell you I knew you were God
and I was God and we lay in our bed
on the dark cloud, and somewhere down there
was the earth, and somehow all we did, the
blood, the pink stippling of the head, the
peal fluid out of the slit, the
goodness of all we did would somehow get
down there, it would find its flowering in the world."

+ like i was shot with a diamond +

this song has never meant as much as it will from now on.
forever.
infinity.
everything's eternal.
we are no more than nothing at all, and all we've ever wanted to be.
we are light.
we are fire.
we are presence.
we are.

Breathe Me - Sia

+ "after all we were lovers" +

I don't wait by the phone like I used to/
I don't hope for kind words you might say/
You don't prey on my mind like you used to/
But you can still ruin my day/
You can still ruin my day/

+ ending before you can begin +

I’d like to drift back
To your long,
Painful days
In alphabet city -
Where you watched your
Brother
Waste away
Into paper.

I’d see him in
Our basement in
The evenings.
I’d hear your bedroom
Noises
And creep down the
Red tiles.
They were always so cold
Against my little toes.

He’d meet me there;
Wait as I’d pass
The crystals wafting high
Above my small stature.

Sweet Stanley was the
Only ghost
That never scared me.
He held me.
He smelled like laundry detergent
And New York,
As I'd imagine it,
In the 40’s.

I know why you hide, Father.
You lost the single
Person you
Truly loved.
And you were
Only 7 years old.

I don’t blame you
For ceasing to
Care.
I don’t blame you
For anything
Anymore.