16 September 2009

+ Inside When I Should Be Out +


There ain’t nothin’ that I need.

I don’t know
How I got
Myself
Here.

There’s a guilt,
And there’s a
Passion.
To listen to one
And not the
Other
Seems a
Crime
To me.

Why am I
And
Who am I
And
How do I
And
Where will I
And
God,
How I miss you.

I left you this very morning.
You held my tiny face in your hands
And brought these peaches so they reached yours.
I’d never heard someone mean it so much when they told me they loved me.

Nobody’s ever loved me.
Not the way I’ve dreamed of being loved.

Oh, I’ve been lusted;
I’ve been torn;
I’ve been on the tips of all your tongues.

I’m so very happy. So very, very.
All I wanna do is cry.
I wanna cry for the loss of myself in you.
I wanna cry for the way you saved me.
I wanna cry for the way you showed me how to come.
I wanna cry for the fucking pill-pop-lift&drop that eats you up each day.

I wanna eat your cancer up.
I am the flowers from your rotting body;
And
I
Will
Bloom
For
The
Memory
Of
The
Rest
Of
Your
Perfect
Life.

I vow.
I do.
I do.
I do.

+ i hope to let you go +

the reality
vs.
the fantasy
of you
is always so much less endearing.

that curve of your jaw;
how your chin is
split,
begging my tongue
to lick
its coarseness.

-- like your heart --
-- like your black, hard, soulless heart --

can't imagine
those lips you give me
are pressed on
anyone else
the way they're
pressed
onto me.

and i'll never be your choice.

so stay safe, horrid one.
stay calm and sweet
and
lie
lie
lie
to every person you encounter.
to every place you travel to.
to each cup of bitter coffee,
scalding down your throat.

to the ONE
who gets that
diamond
that you felt the need
to tell me
about.

i should've slapped your cheek
instead of
letting you
cup my face,
your fingers messing my tresses.
instead of
letting you
taste me
the very
instant
you found me
alone.

i hope
to let you go
completely
some day.
but,
for now,
all i have is
hope.

28 August 2009

+ home +



home
is
when
i'm
alone
with
you.

13 August 2009

+ song of solomon +

"Thou hast wounded my heart, my sister, my spouse, thou hast wounded my heart with one of thy eyes, and with one hair of thy neck."


My Sister, My Spouse - Cass McCombs

+ + + + + + + + + +

+ Mark Ryden +

All hail the king of Pop Surrealism!

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +


DRIPS
Photobucket

FOUNTAIN
Photobucket

JUST THE GIRLS
Photobucket

LITTLE BOY BLUE
Photobucket

REDWOOD SPIRIT #1
Photobucket

SOPHIA'S MERCURIAL WATERS
Photobucket

THE ANGEL OF MEAT
Photobucket

THE APOLOGY
Photobucket

WEEPING
Photobucket

GHOST GIRL
Photobucket

GIRL IN A FUR SKIRT
Photobucket

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

07 August 2009

+ ave maria +


"With such glad dreams I sought this holy place,
And now with wondering eyes and heart I stand
Before this supreme mystery of Love:
A kneeling girl with passionless pale face,
An angel with a lily in his hand,
And over both with outstretched wings the Dove."

--Oscar Wilde

01 August 2009

+ 40 Day Dream +



Now I've been sleeping for sixty days and/
Nobody better pinch me/
Bitch I swear, go crazy/
She got jumper cable lips/
She got sunset on her breath/
I inhaled just a little bit/
Now I got no fear of death/